Death's Vision
by Sakura Maxwell
Summary: Duo's POV about when they fought Libra and a couple years later. Mild Angst! Not for Duo-lovers!


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, do not sue me. This is merely for entertainment, nothing else.  
Warning: Mild language, death inputs, angst...I think...  
Rating: PG-13  
Note: This takes place when the Gundam pilots, mostly focusing on Duo, are fighting Libra. Plus, this is from Duo's point of view.  
Important: Okay, here's the deal. I'm changing what happens a little. Y'know, what happens in the show, and some spoilers from Endless Waltz.  
Another Note: This story is totally screwed. It starts off about mobile dolls and such, then turns around and talks about Duo's past. Weird ya? Well, what did ya expect, I'm weird, so the story's gonna be weird, too.  
  
  
Death's Vision  
by Sakura Maxwell  
  
I slice another lifeless mobile doll that stood in my way. I, Shinigami, am fighting nothing but lifeless machines in which there was absolutely no challenge in it. Yeah, they are fast, they are good, but there is something missing.  
  
A soul.  
  
Mobile Dolls have nothing but programs entered into them. The command to fight. In a way, that isn't any different from what we, Gundam pilots, were meant for.  
  
We were trained to be fighting machines, like these mobile dolls. There really isn't any difference in that except we are the ones piloting the mobile suit.   
  
The only mission we had was to destroy Oz. Nothing else. Destroy Oz. But, what happens when we do destroy Oz? I mean, Oz is finished, but what about The White Fang? What happens when we defeat The White Fang? Will we be discarded? Nothing more than soldiers? There isn't anyway I'll be able to live with Relena's total pacifist ways. I don't diss her or anything, it's just... We are nothing more then fighting machines. Nothing but the will to fight.  
  
I know that each of us gundam pilots find enjoyment when we battle. Yes, Quatre may be an exception. But what about Heero, or Trowa. Or even Wufei. We want to deny it, but the will to fight runs through our veins, our blood. The desire to fight is programed into us just like this mobile dolls.  
  
I destroy five more of these lifeless machines. Then Quatre's face appears on my screen. "Duo!" he says. "I have just confirmed that Zechs is on the far right of Libra. We must try to destroy Libra right now. Its main cannon is down, but that doesn't mean it can't still destroy the Earth."  
  
I nod. "Right," I hear myself reply. "We'll board Libra."  
  
I fly off to the deadly battleship which threatened the very existence of the beautiful planet, Earth. There, I meet up with Quatre and Trowa. "Where's Wufei?" I ask. I could hear Trowa's voice answer, "He's keeping an old promise."  
  
We invade Libra. Quatre and Trowa go opposite ways, I go my own way, and find myself in a deserted area. "Hm... This area is obviously used for confinement."   
  
Then I hear a faint noise coming from a hall way just past the corner. I float over and stand just outside the door. My ear presses against the metal. I can hear a shuffling sound, like a blanket moving about.  
  
"All, right. I'm here," I whisper to myself, and activate a small bomb on the lock. "Step away from the door if ya don't wanna get hurt," I warn, and move away. The bomb makes a tiny popping sound as it explodes.  
  
As quietly as I can, I open the door a bit and say, "Hey, is that you, Heero? Huh?"  
  
What I see makes me turns around quickly and shut the door. "That definitely wasn't was I was expecting to find," I say with a weird tone.  
  
  
  
"So, those mobile dolls I had to fight were created by you," I finally say, understanding. The scientists nod. We had our little discussion. I stood up like lightning, gun in hand pointed at the scientists. "And you think that atones fer your sins?" I ask madly.  
  
One scientist, I believe he trained Heero, says desperately, "No, it's not over yet." Professor G nods. "Right, it's not payback time yet."  
  
All the scientists start to laugh. I hang my head and sigh. "Wish I hadn't found these guys," I mumble.  
  
  
  
I am now in my space suit with the other scientists. They have just informed me that Zechs was "targeting Earth to the very end".   
  
I argue, "He's insane! Why would he want to start a war, then destroy all of mankind who lives on Earth?! That's just nuts!"  
  
Professor G looks at me and says, "Duo, everyone of us fighting is nuts." I stare at him, not understanding. He continues.  
  
"All of mankind who chooses to fight despite the fact that they know there's a 50% chance of them losing is nuts. And that includes you, Duo. You know the rules of war. The price for failure is high. One could end up seriously injured. Or dead.  
  
"Through out history, mankind has fought each other. But what they do not know is that each time they fight, the toll for their foolishness raises. Soon, it will be father against son. Brother against brother, if not already. Fight or be defeated. That's the rule for survival. But Duo, remember this, we do not live in the times of our ancestors. Though we continue to fight, we do not realize that once the battle is done, the pain we gave out, comes back at us with tremendous force. And we find our selves wondering, "Is what I did for victory what I wanted? Did I really want to give up everything to win?"  
  
"The answer is yes. When you fight, Duo, do you not feel the rush of adrenalin flow through your body? The will to fight?"  
  
I nod slowly, not understanding. He explains.  
  
"When you fight, do you not feel the sensation, the rush of a real battle?" I nod again.   
  
"Then you are no different from those cursed mobile dolls."  
  
The sentence hits me full force. "Then you are no different from those cursed mobile dolls."  
  
I was comparing myself to them a while ago, and now I know. Those mobile dolls are no different then us Gundam pilots. All we were trained for was nothing but the command to fight. Nothing but fight. Fight. Fight. Fight.  
  
The words ring in my head and I have to hang to the wall for support. I recover after moments and get in my gundam.  
  
The scientists climb around the cockpit outside and I close my jet black wings over them.  
  
  
  
Soon, I arrive at Peace Million, and let the scientists off. "Thanks for your help, Duo," says Professor G. The float away. He says something before I go.  
  
"Duo, if you're gonna fight, make sure you have a reason to. Of course, go as the God of Death, Shinigami," he says to me with sarcasm, and disappears.   
  
I turn around to face the mobile dolls before me and smile. "They're no different from me," I whisper to myself, my opinion of them changing from before, and join the fray.  
  
  
AC198  
  
I am Duo, not a soldier, nothing but a normal 18 year old kid. I have changed since the war. I have become more slim, and my hair is longer then ever. The tip reaches my knees. I never cut it.  
  
As I walk down the streets of Colony L2, I remember my past. I shiver and quickly brush them aside. The past is too much for me to handle. I guess you could call me weak for saying that, but you haven't been in my shoes when I was a mere little boy. And I wish not explain it to you, so I will not. Simply because if I do, I might go mad. I will remember every detail, every death, every person who died because of me.  
  
My friends say it wasn't my fault, but I still carry the burden of the burning of Maxwell Church on my shoulders. My hands creep up to the crucifix on my neck and I rub it gently, thinking of Father Maxwell, Sister Helen and...Solo.  
  
Solo. The only brother, if you could call him that, I knew. He took care of me before Father ever found me. He cared for me and protected me from dangers I would have faced alone if Solo hadn't found me.  
  
After Solo...died, Father Maxwell and Sister Helen found me and took me in. They gave me a home at the church and treated me well.  
  
Another "family" I lost. And both deaths because of me.  
  
Solo `cause I hadn't brung him the medicine for his sickness in time. I wept and wept and wept till tears refused to come out of my eyes.  
  
Father Maxwell and Sister Helen because I had been a street brat, I was in a gang. We destroyed Oz mobile suits when we could.   
  
Then one day, Oz came and destroyed Maxwell Church, killing every soul that lived there except me. Why did God let me live? That question still hangs in the back of my mind.   
  
Since then, I stopped believing in "God". I only believed in Death, since it followed me everywhere, and soon called myself "Shinigami".  
  
Shinigami. It means in a way, the bringer of Death. In a way, that name suits me perfectly. I can be a cheery guy around everyone. But when on the battlefield, I am a deadly killer.  
  
I will destroy anything in my path when I am angry. I take anger out on everyone, even if they are innocent. Why?  
  
Because I hate all. I simply do not believe in Love. I do not hate my friends, Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Hilde, and Relena. Noin, Une, and Sally. Its just that... When it comes to Love, I will either flee, or kill it.  
  
Love is a person's weakness. That is why, smart soldiers, like Heero, keep their emotions kept inside. Of course, I won't say Heero is the smartest person in the World, giving up his humanity, but he has absolutely almost no weaknesses. I myself, have a few. My anger, as I said before, keeps the battle going. I feed off my anger; it makes me strong.  
  
But there is one tiny flaw.  
  
My anger leads me astray, and sometimes, almost causes my Death. "Do unto others as you would like them do unto you." Or something like that. Well, I don't believe in God, so all enemies I have defeated, rise and conquer me. Destroy me. Kill me.  
  
"Do unto others as you would like them do unto you."  
  
I have killed you, now here's your chance to defeat me. Yet no one answers. I sigh and walk back to the hotel I am staying at. I never keep to one place for too long, otherwise, Quatre will find me.  
  
Yes, I am running. I am hiding from all those people. I wish not to be seen, or found. It¹s too painful for me too see them all. Though I hide, I keep tract of them.  
  
Heero, I believe, might, just might be engaged to Relena. I'm not exactly sure. Also, I think he's doing some secret project on one of the colonies. That is why I'm gonna stay indoors a while.  
  
Trowa is at the circus, working as a clown again. I really have to hide from him, since he travels everywhere. It would be easy for him to spot me one day.  
  
Quatre is controlling whatever his father left for him. He is also looking for me. That ass.  
  
Wufei is working for the Preventers with Sally. That's all I know about him.  
  
And Relena. She is currently working on a project, and at the same time, promoting peace.  
  
She and Quatre are both sending out search information about my whereabouts. I have to despise them for doing that.  
  
I have also found out that there's gonna be a party for the ex-gundam pilots and the others. I am pondering whether or not to go. If I go, I would be wasting all the efforts I made to keep hidden. On the other hand, I do miss them all.  
  
My decision comes quickly to me when I bump into a familiar face. He catches my hand before I fall to ground and pulls me back up.  
  
My eyes stare into cobalt blue ones and I quickly recognize their owners.  
  
"H-Heero!" I exclaim, my mouth dry. Heero stares back at me and quietly says to me, "So, I finally found you, ne Duo-san?"  
  
I gape blankly at him, then recover enough to ask, "How did you find me??" He laughs and replies, "Oh, it's not hard to trace you down, considering all the food markets you went to, went outta business since you ate there."  
  
I grunt. He laughs again. "No, seriously, it was very hard to find you. Y'know, you're good at hiding when you want to," he comments.  
  
I glance at him before returning my gaze to the ground. "I suppose that you want to take me to everyone, huh?" He nods. "Orders are to take you in," he says in a metallic voice. Then he laughs at his own humor. I merely stare at the ground.  
  
He sees my actions and places a hand on my shoulder. "Duo, we all miss you, even Wufei. Please come back. Stop running away."  
  
I look up at him, then remove his hand from my shoulder roughly. He jerks in surprise by my move. "Duo--"  
  
In my coldest voice I could muster, I say quietly, "Don't go telling me what to do, Yuy. I will not go back until I am ready. You got that?"  
  
He shakes his head. "Duo--" I cut him off once more by slapping him in the face.  
  
My voice shook with pure rage as I spoke again, this time, a lot more colder then ever. "Leave me the Hell alone, Yuy, I don't want to go back. I won't go back. As I said, I won't go back `til I choose to."  
  
He slowly backs away as I come forward. "Got it, Yuy?" I repeat, my tone sinister. He shakes his head in response.   
  
"I understand Duo, but please, reconsider. I'm asking you outta my own feelings. You were the first I met on Earth, and you treated me as a good friend, though I was jerk."  
  
I snort in disgust. "Yeah, you were a jerk, and perhaps you still are. Coming here, trying to take me back with you. I'll have no more of it. You leave me alone, ya hear?" I say, and without waiting for a response, I walk away.  
  
"Duo, I respect you, but isn't it lonely? Living by yourself, it has to be lonely," I hear him say before I turn the corner and walk home.  
  
  
I am dressed in black jeans and a crimson red shirt that hugged my skin. I really don't know why I am doing this, but I guess I wanted to see them, just one more time before I...disappear from their lives forever.  
  
I lean close to the wall so no one sees me. I peek around the corner and see everyone there.  
  
Heero is with Relena, grumbling about something I cannot hear, and Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei are in a discussion in which I have no use to try and understand it. Of course, Noin, Une, and Sally are here as well, enjoying themselves.  
  
I guess I'm a little jealous that they live so freely, but I chose to stay away. I will accept the consequences.  
  
I act like a fox and quickly slink over to another corner, more closer to them, without a sound. Now I can hear them more clearly.  
  
"So, Duo decided not to come, eh, Heero?" asked Quatre. Heero shook his head and replied, "I guess he just wants to be left alone for some time."  
  
Trowa shakes his head and says, "Let's just respect what Duo wants. There's no way we can persuade him to come back, he's too stubborn."  
  
I have to smirk at that comment. It's true, I am stubborn, and proud of it.  
  
Wufei sips his wine and says slowly, "I see you have a red cheek Yuy, did you two get into a fight?" I instantly feel like slapping them all. Heero says nothing but nods. Relena sighs and says, "Well, Heero, you musta pushed him to slap you."  
  
Just then, a butler walking my way, tripped. He caught himself, but a wine glass, full of wine of course, flies and spills on me. I yelp.  
  
"Ack!" I hear myself exclaim. Then I instantly shut up as all the people in the room stare at me.  
  
My eyes quickly dart from one door to the other, thinking of my escape, but my legs wouldn't obey me. Damn legs! I cursed mentally. I look up and see Quatre walking in a fast pace towards me, eyes shining. "Du-Duo! You-You actually came!" he exclaims.   
  
"Uh oh," I whisper and desperately try to run, but my legs still wouldn't obey my commands. "Ah, dammit!"  
  
Quatre reaches me and I silently pray to God, even though I don't believe in him, to make sure Quatre doesn't squeeze me to death. I don't want to die from being squeezed, that's corny. But I know Quatre is capable of doing that.  
  
His arms wide, a smile on his face, Quatre hugs me fiercely. I squeak in terror. "Uh...Quatre, you can...aiiieee!! Lemme go!! Lemme go!! Yer gonna frickin' KILL ME!!"  
  
Finally, the Arabian man lets me go and studies me over. All the others come as well. I roll my eyes. So much for being not seen.  
  
"You changed, Duo," Trowa says quietly. The others nod. I silently lift a leg up an inch off the ground. Yay! My legs work! I suddenly fall into dismay, knowing that I am surrounded by others.  
  
Relena smiles and says to me happily, "Glad to see you again, Duo! My, how you've changed!" Wufei smiles slightly and says also, "Good to see you again, Maxwell."  
  
I slightly tilt my head to the side and crack my neck. Then I stare at all of them, Relena, Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Sally, Une, and Noin. And lemme tell ya, its hard to stare at eight people at the same time.  
  
I get the courage to speak again. "Okay then... I'm gonna go now. So if you'll excuse me I'll be on my way--"  
  
"There's no way in Hell we're gonna let you go, Duo," I hear Heero say with a hint of mocking in his tone.   
  
"What?!"  
  
The others nodded. "You had better be joking," I tell them coldly. They say nothing but smile.   
  
Then suddenly, my anger comes and rage fills my whole body. My nostrils flare and my eyes loose focus for a minute. That's how angry I am.  
  
I speak with a shaking voice, full of rage and anger, "You do NOT order Shinigami AROUND!" I rage, my voice making the walls tremble.  
  
All eight of them step back. I smirk, I can feel their fear of my new found anger. I can feel the chill run down their spine. I feel it all, because I am Shinigami.  
  
I take a step forward, and they fall back again. "Why can't you people just leave me in peace?! Is it that hard to do so?!" Their silence is deafening. "Answer me!" I thunder.  
  
Quatre gulps and says quietly, "Duo, we just wanted to see you again. We worry about you a lot--"  
  
In a flash I was there, right next to Quatre. Poor defenseless Quatre. I did not care. Right now, anger filled me, and nothing would stop me from turning into a monster.  
  
I lift him up by his collar and say coolly, "You don't have to worry `bout me, Quatre." I said the name with spite. "You need to worry about yourself, or you'll end up dead."  
  
He whimpers at my power. I do not care.   
  
"NO! DUO! DON'T DO IT!" I hear Heero yell.  
  
I ignored his plead and with all my strength, I threw Quatre across the room. I hear him land on a table, breaking it. I am sure he has a broken bone or two.  
  
"Oh my God!" cries out Relena, and runs toward Quatre's limp, unconscious body. My eyes flash when I hear Relena say that sentence.  
  
I lash my mind out at her and she trips. It's really handy when my anger leads me. It gives me powers I never can use alone.  
  
"Do not use God's name in vain!" I shout at her.   
  
Relena grabs her ankle and rubs it gently. I think I twisted it for her. How quaint.  
  
Heero rushes over to her. All eyes are locked onto Relena for nothing more than a second, but it is enough to make my escape.  
  
I slink away to the balcony and jump off before they look back. All they see is a black shadow jump off the balcony and land on the grass.  
  
  
I arrive back at my room I am staying at and quietly enter. I slink to my drawer and pull out a sharpened dagger. I place it on the small table next to my bed and go inside the bathroom.  
  
There, I undo my braid and brush my hair thoroughly. I leave it down, because it makes no sense with what I am about to do. I clean my face and brush my teeth, though I haven't eaten anything.  
  
I walk out to my bed and grab the dagger. I sigh and close my eyes. "I saw them, now I will end it all."  
  
"The days of Shinigami are over."   
  



End file.
